I recently discovered a Facebook page created by Dontrell Britton. According to his page, Britton is an ex-drug-felon, now seemingly working hard to establish a strong brand and positive life path. Assumedly, Britton “invented the prison style fitness camp, Twenty3n1, and has trained over 1,000 people, celebs included.” In addition to etiquette, he discusses investing, self-respect, home, dating, etc.

I was quite impressed with Britton’s POV, especially his views on etiquette. I tried to interview him but I was unable to make contact. So, I am dedicating this column to him,  and augmenting my text with a few quotes from his public video called “5 Etiquette Tips For Young Men.” 

I consider myself a connoisseur of etiquette but I am perpetually open to learning new tips and insights. In listening to Britton’s videos, I gained a deeper appreciation of how etiquette can shape a man’s character. Soft and caring yet strong can be a powerfully successful approach for men, strengthening not undermining their masculinity. This can be especially useful while encountering people carrying the worst stereotypes of Black men in general. 

Gestures of etiquette, especially from young men, are signs of a grounded person, someone who is willing to take extra steps in recognition of others. “Etiquette isn’t performative. It’s not about who’s watching. It’s who you are when no one is,” observes Britton.

In appreciation for Britton, here are my 5 Etiquette Tips for Young Men, fairly closely (but not exactly) aligned with his:

• Always say “please” and “thank you.” (It’s the holy grail for me.)

• Always stand when a woman approaches the table. “I’m aware of and I honor who enters my space,” says Britton.

• Hold doors and elevators for others. “Courtesy is competence dressed in silence,”  Britton notes.

• Show respect and kindness, especially to service workers. Let them be seen by you and see the real you. (It doubles in impact if you make direct eye contact.)

• Escort women safely to their destination.  “A man reveals his character in the smallest acts of responsibility,” he asserts.

While I value Britton’s fifth tip – never show up empty handed – some men are not always able to bring anything tangible, especially young men with limited resources. However, I appreciate it as an aspirational goal. In the meantime, perhaps a young man can establish a non-material “signature”:  a smile, a modest bow, or a handshake that is uniquely his own; one that doesn’t cost a cent but is certain to generate a smile.

I am hopeful that we’ll continue to hear wise words from this re-invented gentleman.  Carry on, Mr. Britton!

Jacqui Love Thornell is a native Miamian and retired corporate executive. With “help shape a better world” as her mantra, Thornell writes to tackle the awkward situations readers face in a world where technology, social media, gender definitions, and cultural lifestyle differences drive behavior. New-age etiquette strives to rise above the fray of rudeness, haters, and negativity to attain human encounters that are civil and thoughtful.