She took in 10 children while battling multiple sclerosis. Now she wants her story heard

Miami Herald

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By Milena Malaver
Updated December 23, 2024 10:54 AM|

Stephanie Handford was at her son’s football game when her body started to shut down. Her head was hurting and she could barely keep herself up. Known for never leaving a game early, she shocked other parents by abruptly heading to her car, where she collapsed, her body completely immobilized.

It was 1997 and Handford’s mother had recently died. Doctors soon delivered a devastating diagnosis: multiple sclerosis. It is a chronic autoimmune disease where the immune system attacks the protective covering of nerves, disrupting communication between the brain and body. There is no cure.

“I lost my mother, I lost my mobility. I was in a state of confusion, and I really did not want to live,” said Handford. But she remembers her son Jhayce Johnson, 13 at the time, coming to the hospital to pray for her. She didn’t know he knew how to pray like that. “He said, ‘My grandma taught me how to pray like that,’ “ Handford said. Handford, a pastor with a PhD in theology, believes in the power of God and in the love of her family. She slowly recovered after a year of being in and out of the hospital. Motherhood would come knocking on Handford’s door ten times. At just 21, she began welcoming foster children into her home. “It was the best thing ever could have happened to me,” Handford said from the living room where she raised her children. “And the ones that came, they stayed.”

Handford, now 60, is kept busy by all her adult children, 17 grandchildren and four great-grandchildren. Her four-bedroom, two-bathroom home where she raised all her children is known as the “Big-Steph House.” In conversation, she does not distinguish between those related by blood and those by fostering. Her oldest daughter Takisha Harris, 48, remembers all the dance nights, talent shows and fun she had while growing up with Handford. “Always, lots of fun, lots of love,” she said. “To the amazing woman who took us all in, I am forever grateful.”

Her daughter Chiquita Munroe, 36, credits Handford for saving her life. “I was always thrown in and out of the [foster] system,” Munroe said. “But she didn’t give up on me. She took her time.” Munroe was 11 when she began to live with Handford and was on anti-depressant medication at the time. “I was on Prozac because they said I was crazy, crazy, when I really wasn’t,” Munroe said. ”I just needed that extra love and somebody to actually care about me, and she gave me that.” Handford emphasized the importance of maintaining connections to her children’s biological families. “I taught them how to love their family,” she said. Her approach to fostering relationships ensured that her children understood and respected their roots.

Her upbringing in Liberty City shaped her values. Raised by older parents, Alva and Proffitt Handford, she learned resilience and community care early on. Her father’s pickup truck was a familiar sight, loaded with vegetables and fish they distributed to neighbors. “We didn’t have much, but what we had was wonderful,” Handford said. She carried those values into adulthood, becoming a mother to her biological son and nine foster children and having a career in education. Handford’s home became a haven for children from difficult circumstances. Her philosophy was simple but powerful: “You’re not a foster kid. I’m your mom.” Handford’s older sister, Charlene, was the first to begin fostering children, and when she could no longer manage some of them, Handford stepped in to provide care. “All my kids are fabulous, and I attribute that to them because they listen,” she said. ”I was very hard on them. My mission was to make sure you focus on getting your life straight.”

LEARNING TO TRUST

Handford’s health struggles with MS brought periods of intense physical and emotional pain, especially in 2013. “I was totally blind. I was totally immobilized. I had people spoon-feeding me, body bathing me, and I was wheelchair-bound,” she said. She remembers the first time she had a male doctor and how he taught her to trust people. At a time when she was unable to see or move, she relied on his voice and his words to feel safe. The doctor meticulously explained every step of the process, from strapping her into a wheelchair to describing the warmth of the water he used to bathe her. Handford’s children were with her all along as she slowly gained back her senses. They took turns caring for her, ensuring she had everything she needed. “I couldn’t live without my kids,” she said.

Her grandson Jarquez Rozier, son of her daughter Takisha, lived with her his whole life. “His mom would come every day. He said, ‘I’m not going over to stay with you. I’m already home,’ ” Handford said. Jarquez died at the age of 23 from a heart attack in 2020, after a heart condition went undetected. “I had to try to perform CPR on him in the back room,” she said. “He took care of me before he died, and there was nothing he wouldn’t do for me. I thought I was gonna lose my mind.” Portraits of him hang in the corner of her living room, right above a Christmas tree filled with ceramic ornaments he made throughout his childhood. So when in September she got a call that her 20-year-old grandson Malikk Brown had gotten into a major car accident while out running errands for her, she thought she would lose another grandson.

Brown was airlifted to Jackson Memorial Ryder Trauma Center with life-threatening injuries. “When they said he had to be airlifted, I passed out,” Handford said. “Since the moment I woke up, she had to help me get back to norm✓, bathe me, clothe me, all those unfortunate things, but she did it and I’m thankful for it,” said Brown. Handford was at the hospital with Brown when she got a call from Marcia Harris, the support groups and outreach manager with the Multiple Sclerosis Foundation. to tell her she had been nominated for the Miami Herald’s Wish Book program. “She’s gone through a lot of grief in her life,” said Harris. “We have so many people that need help, and unfortunately, we cannot help everyone.” Handford wishes to share her story. Her dream is to become a published author. She has one completed book called “A Woman’s Battle,” loosely based on her experiences. “For a woman to struggle through what I went through, it’s much worse than a man, because I had responsibilities that a man will never have.” But having a book published is an expensive and long process. This holiday season Handford wishes to improve her writing conditions and hopes to have a 13-inch iPad, Air Pods and a wireless printer.