The actors, who got married in 1997 after meeting at Yale in the 1980s, keep their marriage strong by prioritizing one another.

Marriage is often a bumpy ride that few people stay on. Actors Angela Bassett and Courtney B. Vance are still on the ride, almost 30 years in. During an exclusive interview with PEOPLE, Vance shared the secret to his nearly 30-year marriage. The actor attended the world premiere of his new movie, Lilo & Stitch, at the El Capitan Theatre in Los Angeles.

“It’s really about when my wife is happy, the land is happy,” Vance, 65, said. “So I just try to [go], ‘Does this work for you, baby?’ It doesn’t work … we’re not doing that.”

Courtney and Angela married in 1997 and have been two peas in a pod since. In addition to being lovers, they’re also parents to fraternal twins, Bronwyn Golden and Slater Josiah, born in 2006.

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